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Sr. Bona Knows: Just Say No…Thank You

Thu, Jan 21, 2010

Fresh Year, Fresh Start, Motherhood

Hurray! Today is my day to post for Fresh Year, Fresh Start! I am honored to be a part of the final posts for our amazing series. Thanks to all who have been apart of it. My blogging friend Jessica is also up today so check out her post at Muthering Heights.

argyleandapricots sr.bona

Knowing How and When to Say “No”

Sr. Bona, my religion teacher from my senior year of high school, had the answer.  (I have blogged about her before in a post on butchering names, mine included.)  Why has it taken 24 years to admit she knew what she was talking about?  Well, my brain does not work like it used to and I sorta forgot about this until now and then-as a 17 year old, and at the stage in life when you think you know it all, taking advice from a celibate nun with the unfortunate moniker just didn’t seem..cool.

Her answer:

Say “No Thank you”.

That’s it. She told us that no one can argue with a polite “no thank you”. No excuse is needed. Kindly say no thank you and move on.

Wow. How many times have I desperately not wanted to do something but felt obligated or said yes just to be the hero or look good to who ever was looking….oh, and by the way, no one is looking and if they are looking, their not taking notes and if they are taking notes it’s to remember who to ask the next time they need someone to do something-remember that!  Then I lament and stress over committing myself to a task or event that I could have just said, ”I appreciate your thinking of me, but no thank you” and moved on with my life. Brilliant.

So we know how to say no. How about when to say no. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you really want to do it or do you whine the whole time and proclaim under your breath, “never again”?
  • Are you doing it to serve God or to plump up your rep with the PTA moms or MOP gals?
  • Do you think having MMS or MCS (Multiple Ministry Syndrome or Multiple Commitment Syndrome) is a good thing?
  • Are your kids eating Der Weinershnitzel for dinner, again?
  • Do you pack games and toys in the car, not for the park but for when “Mommy just has to make a few stops”?
  • Does your time with God suffer because you tell him you’ll BRB after you get a few more emails out?
  • Does your child put your job or ministry on her “what I don’t want to be when I grow up list”? (mine did, ouch)

Sr. Bona knows. Just say “No Thank You”.

What do you think? Can we stand together? Throw open our windows and shout “I’m over committed and I’m not going to take it anymore”! I think our husbands and children will thank us.

argyleandapricots fresh start

Okay Today is the day! Your last chance to link up your Fresh Year, Fresh! Start post at Run the Earth, Watch the Sky and be entered for a chance to win a blog makeover from from Jo-Lynne (@dcrmom) of DCR Design

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7 Comments For This Post

  1. Kristi_runwatch Says:

    Loved this, as always!!! I feel like I go in cycles with being able to say no – currently I am bringing stuff on myself because I get excited about it… and then realize that I cannot do it all!! You are so right that our families suffer when we are too busy – even busy with “good” stuff. :)

  2. Kelly @ Wisdom Begun Says:

    I know all about this. Since I stay at home 99.9% of the time I over-commit online. Whether it be guest-posting, my own blog, etc, etc. I have had to learn to say no many times. It usually hurts me to say no but in the end I (and my family!) is grateful that I did.

    Great post!

  3. Lori Z Says:

    Thanks for the comments, gals. I have been better lately just letting someone else raise their hand. My control issues get me wanting to take on everything so I can have my say in it but I have to accept that I don’t know everything (wow, did I just type that? see FY,FS! has caused personal growth)

  4. Sue Says:

    The real trouble with the over-committment thing, is you get so burnt out, that you don’t want to do anything…and you will go the other way…selfish mode…I perfectly understand the control issue, and now there are so many times I could care less about the control, just to keep my peace. And you were right on the money with what you wrote. God wants balance in our lives…what are we first responsible for…and then, to listen carefully where God wants you step out into after that…Amen

  5. Lori Z Says:

    Thanks Sue. You said it – “The real trouble with the over-commitment thing, is you get so burnt out, that you don’t want to do anything” and unfortunately the anything is sometime your kids. I get so tired by the end of the day and Gracie just wants to play with me and she NEVER gets my all. It is a shame and something I need to change.

  6. Muthering Heights Says:

    Great post…and I’m sorry about the mix up, LOL!!

  7. Lori Z Says:

    Thanks Jessica, No worries!!

2 Trackbacks For This Post

  1. Kristi Stephens » Blog Archive » Fresh Year, Fresh Start! Says:

    [...] Week three (January 18-22) we will be praying for fresh wisdom as we seek to disciple our children with the heart of Christ. Teri Lynne and Kelly gave us a fresh reminder about the real purpose of parenting: discipleship! My husband NP offered us some free advice from his office I shared some thoughts about raising “modern-day Timothies” who know and obey God’s Word Erin reminded us that giving life to our kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Jessica gave us some fresh perspective about keeping our priorities straight, and Lori reminded us about how and when to say no [...]

  2. The End but really the Beginning Says:

    [...] “Enough is Enough!” And Lori (@lorizimbardi) encourages us to remember to “Say No!”   Today, though, won’t you share with me what Fresh Start you are making … [...]

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