Gravity is What Happened to Me

argyleandapricots cookie dough

It happened one morning. The morning that I officially turned 32 and 2 months. I woke up and something was different, a little off. I felt funny and less-light and airy, so to speak.  What happened to me that morning you ask?

Gravity. Gravity is what happened to me.

Every part of the human body that has the ability to move had moved and it moved south. Yep, everything hung a little lower that morning.  It was as if I went to bed tight and right and woke up hang’in and swang’in.  What you have to understand is that up until this tragic moment in my life, I could eat anything I wanted and not gain an ounce.  I was one of those girls you hate because I got thinner after I had my first baby. It was glorious. My claim to fame is that I spent the summer before the “dip down” eating every bite of 18 lbs of chocolate chip cookie dough and not an extra ounce to show for it.

True Story.

Perryann’s school had a fundraiser and I bought 6 – 3 lb tubs of cookie dough. My family, traditionally, doesn’t actually make cookies, we eat the dough. This was a long and honored tradition passed down by a spunky friend of my Mom’s named Mary. She would make the dough, get a heaping spoonful that you would assume she was putting on the cookie sheet to bake but she would sit at the kitchen table and eat it. She would let us do the same thing.

One of the epiphany moments in my life only second to recognizing my need for Christ was the realization that you could eat chocolate chip cookie dough raw.

That summer I worked as a bartender at a restaurant in Old Town Pasadena, Ca. It was a 55 minute drive door to door (yes, I was a bartender, yes it was a long drive especially heading home at 2 or 3 in the morning but I was the youth gone wild back then so it was okay ). On my way to work I would sit the cookie dough in my lap and eat it with a spoon until I arrived, stick it in the beer fridge then snacked on it on the way home. I spent the whole summer eating that dough and did not gain one pound-until I turned 32 and 2 months. It all changed from that point on.

I can’t eat whatever I want, when I want it. I have an extra 5 to 15 lbs on me at all times no matter how healthy I eat.  I’m not complaining and neither is my hubby. He likes a little meat on his steak.

The issue is that it may be happening again.

41 and 5 months…

More to come.

Do you have one of those distinct moments when LIFE reminded you of how it’s all gonna go down?

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3 Comments For This Post

  1. Jeremy D Says:

    For my 30th birthday, my father passed on to me the gift of seasonal allergies. Never struggled with ‘em before, but I’ll probably be poppin’ Claritin like M&Ms with every changing of the wind for the rest of my life.

  2. Lori Z Says:

    Wow, I too got bad allergies in my 30′s. And yes, yes you will be poppin them like candy and curse the day you forgot too.

  3. Johnny5 Says:

    I see your cookie dough and raise you a wacky brownie batter story:

    I once started making a batch of brownies while on the phone with a friend… while chatting I took a few bites of the tasty, gooey brownie mix. After a while I looked down and HALF the mix was gone!… at that point, if i tried to cook the batch, they would have been too thin. So yea… i literally ate an entire batch (2000+ ridiculous calories) of uncooked brownie batter, and i didn’t really regret it. I just wish I could do it more often than once in a lifetime.


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  1. Vlog: Can That Be a Grey Hair | Argyle & Apricots Says:

    [...] Motherhood So you know what happened at 32 and 2 months, well, I thought it had happened again, yesterday at 41 and 5 months. This time with a gray hair. I [...]

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